haven't figured it out. I have a wonderful boyfriend though, that's for sure. I think I might love him, I might be quite sure. Yesterday, we said goodbye. He is leaving for quite a while, and when he gets back, I'll be abroad. So we went to a pub and played "truth or dare", like teenagers do, and we kissed and laughed our asses off. Eventually, we got drunk - or at least I did, quite often these days. Once we got home, we left again, since we didn't feel like staying. We took the car for some more driving, we made out, and before we both knew it, time collapsed, and the whole wide world was nothing more than a big glowing bubble. God, I love that feeling.
I gave him his birthdaypresent, and I am quite sure he likes it. It's a jump out of an airplane with a parachute, what's that word again, a parachute-jump. I wrote him a note with the following message: "Baby. I couldn't quite figure out what you'd like the most: jumping or flying. So I picked a gift that combines both: first you jump, than you fly. I hope you have the time of your life doing whatever you are going to do, and please do tell me how it made you feel: when the whole world tumbles and nothing is for real". It's a small rhyme actually, and I have to admit that I am quite proud of it.
I love him. I write it down to convince myself of all the goodness he brings into my life. This morning, when I left, with his eyes wide open and his smile all over me, I felt like nothing really mattered, as long as he's with me. All the choices that I have to make - moving, staying, running, leaving - it doesn't really matter. As long as I am with him, life is good. And in the end, we are leaving anyway, together, we've got our bags allready packed and our minds worldwide open. It's just a matter of time. Time, and timing. God, I love that boy.