vrijdag 7 september 2012


I'm writing a lot these days, on paper thin sheets. Writing stays my favorite way out. I like to explore my mind, writing down the stories that I tell myself before bedtime (even though they sometimes wake me up at night). I sometimes think too much, and I definitely think it is funny, as in the song below: "so much time we spend, searching for a clue". I think we all need a clue, and a happy ending, from time to time. I think we all have to be honest, towards ourselves, and others. I think the world would be a better place if every girl would wear a smile, at least once a week, and every boy a sword, to fight the imaginary fears that keep us awake at night. A boy can fight for both of us, a girl can smile for two. Or at least, I can.  

I am small, but brave, I am confused, but sweet. I believe in culture, education, ethics and art. I wear my daddy's perfume at night (because I miss him) and I sometimes cry when I see happy people. I talk very easily to strangers, and I sometimes smile too often. I am not always as happy as I pretend to be. I like the feeling of rain on my skin, but I don't like my hair getting wet. I am gentle, but stubbern, sometimes stupid, too. I have been hitchhiking to school each time I missed the bus. I actually always think I'm too fat, although everybody says I'm not. I might be addicted to chewing gum, body lotion, diet drinks and sports. I keep pictures of moments that make me complete. I take photographs of people that I like most.

My walls are empty, except for a vintage postcard, a map of the United States, and a letter from my grandfather. My closet is full, although I still have the feeling that I forgot most of my wardrobe at home. I tend to forget a lot of things. I get easily lost. Almost always, I find my way back home.

I tend to fall in love easily, but I almost never commit. I try to go to bed early, but I hardly ever fall asleep in time. I love spending time alone, and I love to listen to the same song over and over again. I like to be in control of things. I hate it when sad things happen. I hate when people I care about get hurt. Most of all, I hate death. I love my brothers, my family, and my sweetheart friends. I like waking up in the morning, with an empty mind and day ahead. I love reading the paper, although I hardly ever finish an article I read. I think we all overestimate the value of our jobs, salary and so-called safety. I think we underestimate the value of love, education, and most importantly, happiness (as in: being content, at ease, stable and strong).

I think I shouldn't worry that much, because actually, I am fine. I think I should accept that life is crazy, and that I might be too. I think I do have to go to bed, now, because school starts at 8:00 and I am already too late to go to bed early. I think I have to stop thinking, now.

Bedtime for babies. Talk to you soon.

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