maandag 29 oktober 2012


Things to do (after America)

1.       Find a job I like

2.       Find a place to come home to

3.       Find someone to share my life with

4.       Live

donderdag 25 oktober 2012


I sometimes wish there was someone sitting on my doorstep with a big box of ice cream and a friendly smile. So I could tell all my stories about life, love and school and the movies I saw and the times I went to bed early but I couldn’t fall asleep. I sometimes wish I could wake someone at midnight to hold, hide or seek, or to talk about my dreams. I wish I could tell someone that I did great on my test and that I am being published in a magazine. I sometimes wish I wasn’t living in another time zone, so I could talk to my hometown friends when I get home from school. I sometimes wish it was raining in Nashville, so I could hide under my umbrella and try out some tears. I sometimes long for someone who cares, someone to listen to instead of talking.

This doesn’t mean that I am not happy – on the contrary, I'm feeling fine. It’s another kind of happy – a steady one, that kind of happy that might stick. I feel calm and at ease, I feel completely – me. Living in Nashville is one of the best things that ever happened to me – un voyage vers la lune, at the right time, the right place. I think back of the past and I am grateful for what I’ve got - I am moving forward towards my future with a sweet and steady smile.

And so we move forth, looking back, falling behind – and so I grew (in just a little minute) into another human kind.

one day

I sometimes wonder what it's all about. I just had my first shoot on campus, for the Vanderbilt Lawyer Magazine. Actually, I could only think of what life would be if it was me holding the camera, if it was me being the designer on set. She gave me her card, saying "Assistant Art Director, Creative Services". I felt as if I was being a model for someone that is actually not me - the bright kid, that smart girl, you've probably seen here around. For a moment, I was lost. Then, I started smiling as they asked me to, I put my hair in the right direction, and I gave them the face they were looking for. It wasn't that hard - it just didn't feel right. I think back of the days of modeling for make-up friends, clothing stores, fun-time friends. I think back of the Tee-shirt contest a friend of mine won, with my foolish birdy face on the picture. How life is what you make of it, how you are who you present to others. It's funny, isn't it? I might not become a lawyer after all, or at least not forever. I might have to do it my way, one day. (One day baby we'll be old, and think about the stories that we could have told). Maybe the main question is: how do I make money out of being me? Let me figure that one out, and come back to you soon. Have a good day.

woensdag 24 oktober 2012

New York v. Nash

I think I like both.
(Click on the pictures to see them for real)

zaterdag 20 oktober 2012

12:15 PM

Nashville Airport, Starbucks Coffee. "One small Spicy Bowl Thai Salad, and a bagel, please". Hungry. "Oh, and a diet coke, I forgot". Jazz music playing, fading red light. Finally - rest. It's been a long day. I finished my Legal Writing assignment at midnight, I packed my bags for New York this morning. My plane is leaving in an hour. I have 20 minutes of free Internet access. No stress. (Wow, this   pasta is really spicy). 

Life is going pretty fast these days. After two months of dreaming, dwelling, dancing in the moonlight, it's time to make some choices. Finally, that is, and again, that is too. I am thinking of staying in the U.S. a little while longer. Plenty of opportunities, and a handful of dreams to fulfill. I did figure some things out: no matter how much I love to write, blog, to paint and take pictures, for now, I am a lawyer. And for the next few years, that's what I will probably be. And actually, that’s OK. I have plenty of room left to use the right side of my brain, to be creative, inventive, artistic and free. 

Writing is what happens automatically. It's what I do when I feel like it, when I have time left, or when I wake up in the morning quite early. It makes me feel calm, at ease, and very often, it makes me smile. I might share what I write because it makes me feel less lonely. Even though I am most of the time surrounded by people I truly enjoy, life can get lonely from time to time. At first, I thought loneliness was an illusion. Now, I realize that it is part of the deal. When travelling, moving, living and learning, one can get lonely living their dreams. And I must admit that I sometimes miss the strangers that I meet along the way. 

My flight is delayed, my battery is low. I am looking forward to closing my eyes while the plane takes off, feeling tickles in my tummy and a buzz in my ears. It’s not that I really enjoy the buzz, but I do like the feeling of rising up into the air, flying high upon the sky. I sometimes think that's what it is all about. And of course, all discoveries along the way are a pretty nice side effect too. 

Airplane shot, Washington DC

donderdag 18 oktober 2012

woensdag 10 oktober 2012

the bigger picture

I am often so caught up in details that I forget to mention the bigger picture. The bigger picture: Life is good. I've been living in Nashville for two months now, and I must say, I truly love this city. I have just moved to another apartment - a bigger one, one that fits into this bigger picture. It has wooden floors, an open kitchen, a masterpiece bedroom, and high, big windows with a view over Fairfax Avenue. It is close to the place where I was living before, but on the other side of 21st Avenue. That is: even more greenery, grass and children playing in the streets. This morning, I woke up at 6, prepared for school, and went for a morning run in our neighborhood. Then, I took a shower, whirled through the room as if I was a princess, choosing my clothes out of this big, open closet. Actually, it is just a one bedroom apartment. Still, it is exactly what I was looking for. It feels so spacious and light, having the whole place for myself, doing whatever I want to do, whenever I feel like doing it. I love it.

School is still quite hard, but I am getting better at it every day. In between classes, presentations and paperwork, I try to do yoga every day, taking my first official class tonight. I discovered many old school bars, vintage art fairs, and each first Saturday of the month, there is an Art Crawl through the neighborhood. Then, all galleries are open until 10:00, presenting their finest works of art while the evening falls. Last weekend, we went downtown, and listened to awesome (country) music in a random pub on Broadway. In Nashville, music is everywhere. People stroll around the streets with guitars, violins, trumpets and more – an utmost enjoyable experience. In between presidential debates and American flags, I truly start to feel as if I belong here. And that, my friend, is a pretty good feeling.

My future perspectives: a trip to New York, or two, one in October, and one in November. I'll be seeing firms in the City, friends in town. It is good to dive into every single day as a new adventure, discovering things you do not always expect, to be surprised by the differences, and very often, the similarities. Thus, my friend, life is good, here in Nashville. I wish I could show you around, one day, but one day would be way too short to describe this place called home. I do invite you over, so you can sleep in my double bed and experience the morning light shining through my big open windows, having American pancakes for breakfast or scrambled eggs with toast. For once and for all, and for now, for America.

zondag 7 oktober 2012


Meet my new home.

Stars at the laundry mat.

Friends being foolish.

Sugar Man, Belcourt Theatre

zaterdag 6 oktober 2012

if I

"Baby, I'll tell her, remember
your momma is a worrier
and your papa is a warrier and you
are the girl with small hands
and big eyes
who never stops asking for more
Remember that good things come in threes
and so do bad things
Always apologize when you have done something wrong
but don't you ever
apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining
Your voice is small
but don't ever stop singing"

donderdag 4 oktober 2012

is this a gamechanger

No. This is just politics, strategy and efficiency. Obama didn't do so well. Of course, he'll do better next time. We all know the Peak End Theory on positive memories. What you remember most, are the "peak" experiences during a period, and the feelings you have at the end of a period. Thus, the trick is to end big, and to create several “big” moments throughout the campaign. I think Obama is playing on that one. Of course he has thought of it - they have thought of every little detail: their height, their shoes, their posture, their position on the screen, the exact form of words coming out of their mouths. This is no coincidence. This is no natural debate. This is politics. Politics is a game. I am sure Obama will come back soon. Harder, better, faster, stronger. Of course he is going to win this one. Who else?

maandag 1 oktober 2012


One said: "Authentic yichud love must express a sensitive balance between reason and romance, discipline and spontaneity, dream and realism, aggressiveness and withdrawal, fusion and independence. It must be sustaining throughout life, able to weather the daily prosaic crises that come not only between the lovers, but also between them, the family, and the community. It is not selfish, but it is also not impersonal. It is not shut off from society, but it is also not solely communal. It is not exclusively spiritual, and it is also not exclusively social. It is not wholly an idealistic love, and it certainly is not an exclusively sensual love."