dinsdag 1 januari 2013

50 shades of

I am actually not that good at moving. Although I love to move, for a while, or forever, I hate the factual change of scenery. I hate to say goodbye. I am much more calm, steady, confident and easy going when I have a solid place to come home to. For now, my home is in Nashville. It is strange – how much I longed to come home when I was living in Nashville, and how strange it felt when I was actually here. Although all conversation, thoughts and things remained the same, it all felt very different. Maybe I have changed. I’m not sure, but I do feel that something’s going on. I might have grown up, again, a little bit more. 

I’m not sure how I feel about the future. Short-term thinking, things are great. I will go back to Nashville, try to make the most of it, and take advantage of every opportunity I didn’t have before. I will grow. 
Long-term thinking, things feel different. If I choose to continue my professional path – which is currently the only rational thing to do – I will move to Brussels, work long hours, and rent a beautiful apartment that I will hardly ever see. I will meet new people, enjoy old friends. Life will be filled with things that I should do, have to do, things that I am supposed to do. Above all, it might be grey. Literally and physically grey. 

Long-long term thinking makes me, then again, happy. I have every opportunity to change my track, to move abroad, to do whatever makes me happy, where-ever that will be. As long as I keep on dreaming, try to make the most of it, and remember all things I have learned so far – everything should be fine. If I keep on repeating that, how can I go wrong?

(Le petit prince, mon meilleur example)

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