donderdag 24 april 2014


"If I would be a mom, I would bake cake all day and smile and sing, until the sky colors a rainbow and all problems fade away"
At this point in my life all is dazzling. I feel lost and confused, twisted and thin. The last few days, everything changed – my future plans, my perspectives, my mind-set, and my ideas. I’m pregnant. I will have a sweet little baby in 8 more months, crying in my arms, asking for love and shelter, milk and warmth. I’m happy. I feel confident and strong, ready to take up this challenge. It is time for change, time to take good care of my body, time to zoom out and jump in on this wonderful ride called life. However, I’m missing parts of the puzzle. My boyfriend. He and I should be two, ready to become three. We are not, or at least not yet. Since the news kicked in, we’ve been fighting and struggling all over the place. Yesterday, we almost got a grip of things. Then, he read an email of a far-away friend, claiming it proved I did not love him enough to have his baby. This morning, he found another argument to doubt my love and set me aside. Today, I received another disturbing phone call, leaving me feeling lost and confused, lonely and loveless. Tonight, we should go over to friends for dinner. I’m not sure he’ll join. If he doesn’t, I’ll feel so upset I’d better cancel myself.
Of course, I do understand him. Our relationship wasn’t steady, or at least not yet. We were still in the try out zone, for better or for worse, looking and longing for harmony, together.
Maybe we should stop trying. Maybe we should give up and give in, into this wonderful adventure that is about to happen. I love him, I do. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he makes me feel comfortable and safe, loved and protected. I know he’ll be a great dad – he is responsible, funny, strong and straight-minded (a bit too straight-minded, for that matter). Yesterday, the gynecologist told us: “Of course life is full of surprises – if it wasn’t the case, why would we live it?”
That being said, it takes two to tango. It takes strength, a lot of courage, cleverness and compassion to go on this trip, together. I hope he’ll join me, soon. If not, I might live another story too harmful to remember.

vrijdag 18 april 2014


Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mohandas K. Gandhi

dinsdag 15 april 2014


For less or for more

So I signed up for the yoga teacher training. Now already, I feel like I’ve left for a journey. I’m not sure where I’ll end up, but it might be a better place than where I was before. I already feel the urge to add some color to my wardrobe, instead of the casual Steve Jobs black. I do need to find a moment to shop – almost all of my free hours are dedicated to yoga, these days. In the morning, I feel stiff, but as soon as I start moving, the usual flow keeps track of my body. I learn new words – pranayama, the serpent power – live as you breathe, take in and let go. I let go. I try to let go negative emotions, I try to accept and move forward. For all yogi lovers: Soon, I might take you on a trip with me. For all others: I’ll send you a postcard, once I arrive at my final destination.


woensdag 2 april 2014

rooftop ride

Last Sunday,

I met my college girlfriends on a rooftop terrace in Antwerp. While eating pancakes and drinking tea, we discussed the topics that caught us up lately. For some of us, it is time for children. For others, it is the combination of work and life that matters most. Be it new shoes, handbags, sporting habits or books to read, we discussed it all. All in the interest of love, mutual understanding, finding a life scheme that fits us best. We are all balancing interests, trying to be the best lawyer, teacher, yogi or lover. Slowly but steady, we define ourselves by little steps in the right direction. Actually, we’re all doing great. So here are some of the tips and tricks we shared:

To read: “The power of vulnerability” by B. Brown. Also, check her TED talk on the matter

The Age of Absurdity” by M. Foley

Try the mindfulness Headspace App on your iPhone, on the go or before bedtime

Yoga works for all of us: the more you rock the mat, the better it gets

So share your stories and support your friends: by doing so, life gets a little bit lighter.